Wednesday, 16 November 2011

The conversation is the relationship

Last year I had some fab training as part of the Wolverhampton Homes leadership programme. It was about how to have 'fierce conversations' - conversations that are real and get to the heart of issues. (They mean fierce as in snap your fingers, dang, girl kind of fierce rather than grrrr fierce.)
I would really recommend the training company Fierce who delivered it; they have a great approach to improving organisational culture.
One of the key phrases they used was that 'the conversation is the relationship'. It's a phrase that has really stuck with me and that I often think about in my personal and work life.
What they mean is that without a conversation there is no relationship and the tone of conversation typifies the relationship.
I think that's so true - my best relationships are with the people I really talk to, listen to and share ideas with. My more challenging relationships are where the conversation has stopped (or everything that's being said is non-verbal) or one or both of us have stopped listening.
So I've got a question for you: who are you having a conversation with? And who are you not? And what impact is that having on your relationships?

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